Can I Kick It? Parker Bridwell

This weeks CIKI was delayed, sorry; I got caught up in some classic ’01 Lakers vs ’01 76’ers against my bro in 2K.

Before we begin this week’s CIKI, let’s see how last week’s contestant is doing.

The Marstar has cooled off a bit this week, with only one home run, 2 RBI’s and a stolen base. He had a short week though, getting a day off after ending an 11 game hitting streak on Sunday. Nothing to worry about here though; if this is a bad week from our boy Zo, I will happily wait it out.

Gonzalez has cooled off a bit, but his first base coach has his back.

It’s actually hilarious how many Astros I have on my team. I picked up Derek Fisher before finishing this sentence. Just like how Derek Fisher, the former Laker, picked up Matt Barnes’ ex-wife; hastily, without thinking about the consequences (I had to empty my catcher slot lol).

Was thinking about doing a CIKI on Fisher, but I don’t want to keep writing about the Astros so. Yeah. Fuck, I am still so pissed about Correa. Okay, done.

Anyway, here’s CIKI III.


Bridwell is currently 5-1 with 34 K’s and a sparkling 2.83 ERA. His pitching form is also a yoga pose called flying squid 3.

Parker Bridwell had quite the journey to the bigs. He was drafted in the ninth round by the Orioles in 2010, and asked for a 750k signing bonus; the O’s agreed. But then, the commissioner cockblocked him. His dad was soooo pissed. And Parker cried in the back of his dad’s truck. Why does this sound like a country song ?

Anyway, after that he settled for 625k and wasted away with the O’s minor ball cats for a while. All this, on top of the fact that baseball was only his third choice sport in high school. What a guy.

So let’s take a looksie.

All the highlights of him are of groundballs lol. Okay there were a few K’s but they weren’t nice.

His pitching form looks like what Curtis’ pitching form would look like if he could pitch. But is his stuff any good?

P Briddy cruises in the low 90’s with his fastball. Nothing super special about that. I took a look at some graphs and charts, and it looks like his four-seam usage has dropped from around 50% to only 26%. He took that half and put most of it towards a sinker that he seldom used before (from 4% to 19%) and also increased his cutter usage from 16% to 23%.

I was honestly going to make some nice gifs for his pitches, but after watching some footage there isn’t really much too marvel at.

What does all of this mean? I’m not a professional, but this change in approach might have fucked with his scouting report. He only has 34 K’s in 54 innings. That’s a 5.67 K/9. His stuff doesn’t look overwhelming and he doesn’t look particularly deceptive. The Halos seem to score in bunches when he’s on the mound too, which is weird because they kinda suck (and being a fan of them kinda sucks too).

Idk man. His FIP is 4.89, compared to his 2.83 ERA. When you see such a huge difference in those numbers, regression is almost certain to be coming. Might not be today, might not be tomorrow; might not be ’til next season. But the kid is just not this good. Sorry buddy.

If you are enjoying his production at the moment, by all means, ride it out. I just think he’ll be trash by the end of the year. Would be very happy if I was wrong though; the LA Trout’s need all the help they can get.

Can I Kick It?


No, no, Meester Parker no here.


One thought on “Can I Kick It? Parker Bridwell

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